


sweet poison that i keep drinking

by PurpleCatGhost



Series: HLVRAI Fanfics [2]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being the Chosen One Sucks Actually, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Body snatching, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping (Sort of), M/M, Mind Manipulation, The Skeleton is very very bad in this one, This looks so bad but I swear it's gonna end okay, i swear this ends happy, lots of manipulation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleCatGhost/pseuds/PurpleCatGhost
Summary: Ever since he was a kid, they've always been around. Benrey no longer questions the skeleton or their Sweet Voice's influence in his life.Until Gordon Freeman of all people makes one comment about it and suddenly everything feels wrong.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Forzen (Past), Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Everyone & Everyone, Gordon Freeman & Tommy Coolatta
Series: HLVRAI Fanfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744285
Comments: 34
Kudos: 287





	sweet poison that i keep drinking

**Author's Note:**

> I know how the tags look guys but I swear this is gonna end well it just has a very bleak beginning-
> 
> This entire story was created by me saying, "What if Sweet Voice could be used for manipulation?" andddd yeah uh, I'm so sorry, Benrey- Heed the tags it gets kinda brutal for a while there but I can't stress this enough that it'll end good

The skeletons and their Sweet Voice have been around for as long as Benrey can remember. There’s very few bits of his life he can recall where they were absent.

They showed up when he was a kid. Benrey’s best friend had just moved away and they lost contact soon after. His parents began to fight a lot more- so much so that Benrey would often avoid being in his childhood home as much as possible to get away from the yelling. 

Out on his own- usually hanging out in the forest behind their house- Benrey discovered he could _do_ things. Change his body- give himself sharp teeth or claws- and change other things too. Set them on fire, create things that weren’t there before- warping reality in ways he thought was only possible on TV.

And it was these times where they would come. The skeletons. Benrey wasn’t sure how many of them there were but he had seen at least three together, though only one of them seemed to be able to talk. Benrey was alarmed upon first seeing one- stranger danger after all- but the skeleton opened their mouth and sang a beautiful and colorful song. Balls of color left their mouth and when they hit Benrey, all tension released from his shoulders. 

The skeleton that had approached him that day sat down across from him. When they spoke, it seemed to be more in his mind than outloud. Their mouth didn’t move.

They told him he was talented. Special. That he had powers he didn’t even fully understand. As a kid, Benrey ate up every word of praise and when they told him they could teach him how to use his abilities better, he immediately said yes.

So everyday that he could, Benrey escaped from his home life to talk to the skeleton. The skeleton that began to teach him exactly what he could do.

Anytime he got frustrated or questioned too much, the skeleton would sing again and Benrey’s thoughts would fall off of his tongue. They told him to be patient- that everything would make sense eventually. That he had a grand purpose and one day, he would look back and see why it had to be this way.

Benrey nodded and complied. And one day, when he asked if he could sing like them too, the skeleton smiled and taught him about what they called the Sweet Voice.

—

As Benrey grew up, his relationship with his parents became distant at best. He only interacted with them for the bare minimum he had to. They didn’t seem to notice.

Benrey felt his power grow, and with each Sweet Voice, he began to feel more and more numb, but it was for the best. That’s what the skeletons said anyways, and they hadn’t steered him wrong yet.

The day Benrey became an adult, the skeletons pointed him in the direction of Black Mesa, and Benrey left home with barely a goodbye on his tongue. 

Benrey hasn’t spoken to his parents since. He barely thinks about them these days- he can’t remember what they look like.

Instead, he spends half of his days playing video games, one of the few things he still enjoys, and the other half working as a guard. Black Mesa seems to study the unnatural, everything that doesn’t make sense, and Benrey has a good feeling that’s why he’s here.

The first time Benrey uses the Sweet Voice on someone else, he’s called in to see his superior. A man in a suit greets him, his blue eyes literally shining with interest as he asks Benrey what he did and how. Benrey explains that the Sweet Voice is just a way to make people calm down. The man nods to himself, tells Benrey he’s free to use it and how he wants to go into further research on it, then sticks the Black Mesa trademark on it. 

Benrey nods and begins to use it even more after that. Benrey doesn’t question it- the Sweet Voice has been in his life since he was a kid and there’s nothing wrong with him. Anytime someone gets too frustrated with him, he sings and they stop. It’s so easy- why wouldn’t he use it?

Not like there’s anything wrong with it. 

—

The guy’s name is Gordon Freeman and as far as Benrey knows, he has no chill. Benrey can’t help but poke at him for his passport- that’s his _job_ after all- and then when messing with the guy makes him feel a little less numb inside, he continues.

However, Gordon can’t seem to take his jokes and begins pushing back. He stands in front of a doorway, not letting Benrey through, and Benrey decides to use his Sweet Voice to smooth things over.

It works- for a moment at least. Then Gordon suddenly looks panicked and asks him what he did.

“Calm down.” Benrey says it like it’s obvious. He feels like it _should_ be obvious.

But Gordon looks at him with an expression of underlying fear and Benrey suddenly feels weird. Most people are just confused when he uses the Sweet Voice. Gordon looks at him like he’s afraid for his safety.

Soon enough, the door closes on him and Benrey stares at it for a long moment. He quickly pushes any feelings of doubt down and ignores it. 

Gordon just doesn’t understand. That’s all.

(When they see him again, the skeletons seem to notice his doubt and anxiety. The Sweet Voice hits him again and the feelings are drowned and Benrey is _numb numb numb_ again. _It feels better way,_ he tells himself. _It’s for the best._ Words he’s said a million times that slowly lose their meaning and he knows it. But Benrey doesn't want to think about it so he doesn't)

—

It bothers Benrey more than he would like, how Gordon reacts to his Sweet Voice.

He doesn’t _like_ it. The effect at least- he doesn’t mind the actual singing. But whenever Benrey uses it on someone else or especially Gordon himself, he pushes him away. Tells him to keep his balls to himself. 

Which doesn’t make sense to Benrey in the slightest.

The Science Team lays down for a rest and Benrey sits against the wall. He doesn’t sleep- the skeletons taught him how to change his body so he doesn’t need it anymore. He’s fully aware that with each change, he becomes less and less human but he doesn’t really care. Where did being human ever get him anyways?

Idly, Benrey sings out in the air, colorful orbs spitting from his mouth and giving him something to look at. The tune seems to help Tommy sleep; Benrey watches as his eyes fall and he mumbles a translation of Benrey’s song to himself. He’s out like a light in seconds. 

Benrey watches over him for a moment. He likes Tommy- Tommy has been nothing but nice to him. He actually makes an effort to understand him and Benrey can appreciate that. Not to mention, he’s one of the few people who can make him feel a little better on the inside.

Bits of violet and blue escape his mouth. He can already guess what Tommy would say if he was awake to see it. _“Violet to blue means ‘I appreciate you!’”_

“I’m only going to be saying this because you’ve been a little less of a dick today and I’m feeling nice because of that.” Benrey almost doesn’t notice Gordon sitting down nearby him until he speaks. Benrey doesn’t jump but his eyes are on him in an instant. “But you _do_ have a good voice, I’ll give you that.” 

Gordon’s form is more casual than usual. One of his legs is arched and he uses it to rest his arm on it as he speaks. His entire body relaxes, which is a good sign for Benrey. Gordon and Benrey actually can somewhat get _along_ when he’s relaxed. Admittedly, he’s no walk in the park to deal with, Benrey _knows_ that, but when Gordon gets defensive and fires up and starts _yelling_ at him, Benrey gets defensive in his own way. All of that drains away in times like this.

Benrey smirks at Gordon. “What, you getting soft on me?”

Gordon rolls his eyes but his lips are quirked up as he does. “I’m trying to be nice, don’t ruin it.”

“Thought you didn’t like my Sweet Voice.”

“I like how it _sounds,”_ a frown forms on his lips, “Not fond of how you _use_ it. C’mon, you can’t honestly tell me you don’t feel like it’s a _little_ bit wrong? Like, _morally?”_

Benrey gives him a blank look. The same sick feeling from before returns. All Benrey wants to do is make it go away. “There’s nothing wrong with it.” His voice comes out more defensive than he would’ve liked but he can’t help it. Something inside of him screams but he doesn’t know why. “You just don’t get it. You’re not used to it.”

“Thank _god_ I’m not.” Gordon shudders. He eyes Benrey. “It can’t be healthy to be exposed to that all the time- much less get _used_ to it. There’s- there’s gotta be _some_ sort of side effect to it.”

Benrey feels sick and he doesn’t know why. He can feel his heart speed up but he forces himself not to outwardly react. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s- Benrey, it’s kinda _manipulative_ isn’t it?”

_No… No, no, no-_

Benrey can’t say a word and Gordon continues. “I mean it’s like- like you’re forcing someone to be okay with something. To be _calm._ I guess it would be helpful in some situations like panic attacks but otherwise… _It’s kinda fucked up.”_

_No- shut up- you don’t know what you’re talking about- shut up shut up shut up-_

“I don’t know, maybe I’m making a big deal out of it but it just seems _wrong_ to-” Gordon stops suddenly. Benrey doesn’t realize that he’s digging his nails into the palm of his hand until Gordon says, “You good, man?”

Benrey closes his eyes and gives the most nonchalant ‘Mmhmm’ he can muster. “I wasn’t listening, you wanna repeat that again?” He says, fully knowing Gordon won’t. Benrey hopes at least- he doesn’t think he can handle hearing it a second time.

Luckily, he’s right and Gordon scoffs. “You’re _hopeless._ I’m going to bed.” 

Benrey watches as he gets up and finds somewhere to lay down but his words don’t leave him. Benrey refuses to come even _close_ to losing it in front of Gordon and waits until he can hear a soft snore coming from him. 

Finally being the only person awake, Benrey slowly gets up and walks out of the room. 

Benrey just barely gets halfway down the hall before he stops and has to lean against the wall. His head swirls and he tries his best to breathe, but ultimately fails miserably. 

Benrey doesn’t like to _feel_ like this, mostly because he’s not used to it. Anytime he got too emotional, the Sweet Voice would hit him and it would be gone. He wants that now. He wants to soak it in and make it all _go away-_

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? The Sweet Voice makes it all go away. Benrey’s independent thinking slowly drains away with each song, becoming more and more compliant with whatever the skeletons wanted. Of _course_ he was compliant- that’s what the Sweet Voice does. Makes you don’t think twice, makes you do think whatever they’re asking of you seem reasonable, makes it all seem _normal._

But it’s not, is it?

Benrey knew that deep down, despite his best efforts to ignore it. He didn't want to think about it- he didn't want to give it serious consideration because that meant everything he knows will change. But he can't ignore it now. Because something's _very, very wrong_ and Benrey needs to know what this all means for him.

_“It’s kinda manipulative, isn’t it?”_

Benrey can’t find a good counter argument. He wants to throw up. _What am I doing? What did they do to me?_

He doesn’t notice the figure until it casts a shadow over him. Benrey freezes and looks up. The skeleton stares back at him. Benrey feels every muscle in his body start screaming.

_“You look down,”_ the skeleton says, _“How about I make you feel better?”_

Benrey knows what that means. They’ve been saying it to him since he was a kid. The skeleton opens their mouth to sing, and for the first time, Benrey dodges out of the way of its beam. 

The skeleton frowns at him when he does. Benrey is on his feet, taking a few steps back to get his distance between the two. He stares at the skeleton, his legs threatening to give out but he forces them to stay still. “No. I- I don’t _want_ that anymore.”

There’s a sigh in his mind. _“...I’m only trying to help you.”_

“Can’t you just- _stop?”_ Benrey crosses his arms tightly and holds them close to his chest. Everything feels like it’s going to fall apart on him and Benrey is determined to stay standing. “Thanks ‘n all but… I want to try _feeling_ things for a while. Sweet Voice makes me numb and... I don't think I want that. I can handle my own emotions- I'm an adult now.”

The skeleton pauses for a long moment. _“You…”_

Two pairs of bony arms suddenly wrap around his arms. Benrey’s entire body tenses and he thrashes in response but the pair of skeletons who now have a hold on him won’t let go. 

_“Ungrateful **child.”**_ The skeleton in front of him snarls. 

Benrey’s eyes go wide. _“Wha..?”_

_“I did everything for you and you just want to throw all that hard work away? You think I’m just going to **let go?”**_

Panic rises in Benrey’s chest that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He continues to try and slip out of the grip on him but it only gets tighter. The skeleton talking to him approaches until they’re right in front of him. Their sockets bore right into him.

_“You’re nothing without me.”_

“You- you’ve been manipulating me? All this time?” Benrey searches the skeleton for answers but gets none. “I don’t- why?”

_“I told you. I need you for a higher purpose.”_ The skeleton seems to smirk at him. _“Did you really think you could escape just like that? You’re not getting away from me that easily. But don’t worry, you won’t feel anything. At all.”_

The skeleton opens their mouth and the Sweet Voice hits Benrey. He tries to thrash again- a last ditch effort to escape- but soon enough, his muscles get looser and looser until he feels like nothing but a rag doll. The skeleton doesn’t stop yet however, and by the time they do, Benrey’s head is filled with static.

_“This Gordon Freeman poisoned your mind, didn’t he?”_ Benrey nods absentmindedly. _“I thought so. He’s trouble. We should arrange for a little… Accident.”_

Benrey doesn’t think. He only nods.

—

“Uh, Benrey? Are- are you even listening to a _word_ I’m saying?”

Benrey blinks slowly. His vision sways a little and he utters out a halfhearted, “Huh?” 

Gordon groans loudly. “What is your _deal_ today, man? Did you not sleep at all? You look like you’re dead on your feet.”

“I… Don’t need sleep. ‘M not human.” His eyes squeeze shut. _Why is it so hard to think? Why can’t I think? Why… Why do I even need to think…_

Gordon pauses for a moment. He stops in his tracks and glances up ahead of them where Dr. Coomer is leading the way with Tommy and Bubby close behind, chatting about something just out of range to hear. His eyes lock back onto Benrey, squinting. “I’m gonna be real honest- I don’t believe you. You look _dead._ You- do you need to rest or-”

Benrey pushes him away. His eyes flutter as he fights to stay standing. “‘M fine.”

Gordon frowns but backs up. “Alright. Your funeral, dude.” He turns to catch up with the others. Benrey has to take a moment to lean against the wall, feeling like he could fall at the slightest push.

For one split second, he’s aware. He’s aware of everything that happened and why he feels like he got run over. There’s a scream trapped in his throat and he reaches out to the fading figure of Gordon to ask for help-

And there’s a Sweet Voice in his ear again that coaxes him down. His arm falls to his side again and Benrey is _numb numb numb._

—

Benrey and Bubby sell Gordon out. The military comes for him and starts to rough him up when the lights go out.

Bubby screams something about payback and how he deserves it. Benrey doesn’t feel anything but lightheaded. 

The soldiers cut off Gordon’s arm. Bubby immediately gets disgusted- _“I didn’t tell them to do that!”_ \- but Benrey feels nothing. He says nothing. He can barely stand.

Bubby gets hit over the head as Gordon is dragged away. _Oh, that’s not very nice._ Benrey thinks. That’s the most he can think before a bony hand drags him away.

The Sweet Voice surrounds him and Benrey falls deeper into his own nothingness, drowning in it but can’t find it in him to care.

—

Gordon slumps against the wall, taking in slow breaths in an effort to settle down. Tommy takes a seat beside him, eyebrows knitted together as he stares at the floor, deep in thought.

“Mr. Freeman, I’m worried.” 

“Me too, Bud.” Gordon sighs. He holds his handless arm close to his chest, trying not to lose his cool. The pain only lessens, never fully going away. “Sorry I can’t be more useful. I still have a flashlight but there’s no _way_ I can handle shooting right now.” A chuckle escaped him. “I’m lucky to have you around, you’re a _hell_ of a lot better of a shot than me, even when I had two hands.”

“Thanks.” Tommy pauses. “But that’s- that’s not what I mean.”

Gordon blinks and shifts his body towards Tommy. His head tilts slightly. “What’s up?”

“It’s… I think something’s wrong with Benrey.”

Gordon’s face twists. He scowls, looking away. _“That bastard…_ I know you two were- close, I think?” Tommy nods. “Yeah, I don’t think Benrey actually _liked_ anyone other than you.”

“He liked you!” Tommy says. In an instant, his face goes pale and he quickly says, “But I’m not supposed to say that… He didn’t like talking about it.”

“I- _what?_ You- you’re joking with me, right?” Gordon sputters. Tommy utters an ‘Uh…’ but goes silent. Gordon would brush it off if it were anyone else but he’s always trusted Tommy. Tommy doesn’t say things to mess with him or betray him or anything. If Tommy says that Benrey apparently… _liked_ him somehow…

“Okay,” Gordon says at last, “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Benrey liked me- why turn me over to the military and let my _hand_ get sawed off?”

Tommy looks down at his hands. “I don’t know.” He admits. “But Benrey was acting really weird before all of that! I- I asked him about the PS5 because usually that cheers him up but he barely said anything!”

Gordon bites his lip. He almost doesn’t want to admit it but… “He does love rambling about the PS5… Okay, let’s- let’s say you’re right. That something’s wrong with Benrey. Do you have an idea for what it might be? Did something _happen_ that I don’t know about?”

“I didn’t see anything...” Tommy fiddles with his thumbs absentmindedly. “But I know I got this feeling he might not be himself like two days ago. I-I woke up and he was just staring at one of the pigeons! He didn’t even look at me when I was talking to him!” He frowned. “And he only does that when he’s all _paranoid_ about something.”

Gordon holds his right arm close to the chest. He’s bombarded with feelings and he’s not sure how to deal with them. Or what they mean. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I know what to do when that happens! I just pull him aside and let him talk about whatever he wants but he- he got all silent! Said we had to just keep moving!” Tommy fidgets in place. He won’t look Gordon in the eye. Gordon didn’t realize how close they were but he’s never seen Tommy look so _anxious_ before. “He’s acting like a _zombie,_ Mr. Freeman! I- do you think he got replaced by a clone or something?”

A short, humorless laugh escapes Gordon. He shakes his head. “I don’t think anyone could _replace_ Benrey. I mean- they would have to not eat or sleep- and somehow get sharp teeth and _not_ die when shot at. Or at least come back to life.”

Gordon’s heart aches. Everything Tommy said weighs heavy in his mind. Benrey’s been a jerk to him but… Gordon wants to get out of here with all of them alive. Benrey included. “Hey,” Gordon says, getting Tommy’s attention. “When we find him again- which we _will,_ that bastard isn’t disappearing on us now, not after _everything-_ we’ll find out what’s up. I can’t promise that I _won’t_ punch him, but I’m not gonna drive him away. Deal?”

Tommy smiles, and after everything that happened, it feels like pure sunshine on his face. “Deal.”

He holds out his remaining hand and Tommy shakes it. Gordon winces when he does. “You- you got a _really_ strong handshake.”

“I read that it makes a good impression!”

Gordon laughs. “I have no doubt that it does. You got an iron grip on you, man. Respect.”

Tommy beams at him. Gordon silently tells himself that whatever grudge he has against Benrey, he can put it aside for Tommy. The guy’s saved his life at least a dozen times- he owes him this much.

—

_“Well, this has certainly never happened before. You’re much more… Resilient than the others.”_ An echoed laugh follows. _“On the bright side, looks like my theory was right.”_

Benrey keeps a trained gaze on the skeleton as he sits slumped against the wall. The static from his mind is gone and he can _think_ now, but that’s about it. He wants to run but his energy has long since drained. It feels more like there’s fire in his veins than anything- one threatening to consume him if he makes the wrong move. 

So instead, he bares his teeth and gets some answers. “What are you _talking_ about?”

The skeleton crouches in front of him, shaking their head. _“You wouldn’t understand. There’s too much to explain for you to ever be able to fully grasp it.”_

Benrey scoffs. “Lame. You’re just chickening out because you know your big, villain monologue is gonna suck.”

_“Eloquently put as always.”_ The skeleton can’t quite roll their eyes but their tone says otherwise. _“I can’t believe **you** of all people were blessed like you are. **I** deserve it much more than you.”_

“So, what, this is all over _jealousy?”_ Benrey’s mouth turns up into a smirk. If he has limited time on his side, he might as well have a little fun. “I was right, you’re a basic bitch of a villain.”

_“I am **so** much more than you could **ever** understand!”_ The skeleton growls at him. Benrey takes some pride in pissing them off. 

“Prove it.” It’s a middle schooler taunt that he doesn’t expect to work as well as it does. Benrey laughs to himself as the skeleton takes the bait without a moment’s hesitation.

_“Do you know my name, Boy?”_

“No, and apparently you don’t know mine. _‘Boy’?_ Seriously?” 

The skeleton laughs hollowly, ignoring his side comment. _“I don’t know my name either. I forgot it years ago. I used to be a **person,** you know- I had a **body.** And I used to be just like you. There were several like us- nine others to be exact. All with various levels of power but you? You’re the last one and the most powerful at that. No one has ever broken out of my Sweet Voice after being exposed to it this long. I had a feeling you might be resistant to some of my abilities- thought I’d play the nice game for a while and gain your trust, but you…”_

The skeleton’s fists clench. _**“Freeman.** He fucked it **all** up. Nobody’s going to stand in my way of ascension, least of all him.”_

The skeleton reaches out and grabs Benrey roughly. Benrey flinches but power still falls short to come to his aid. 

_“I wasn’t going to do this until later- it takes so much out of me- but I can improvise. All is not lost yet. Quite the opposite, in fact.”_

“Do what?” 

_“Take what should've been mine.”_

—

Gordon manages to reconnect with Dr. Coomer and Bubby but Benrey seems to elude all of them. Gordon hasn’t seen the skeleton either, which is strange. Usually they pop up by now. 

Gordon doesn’t _want_ to see them but their absence raises some questions. The skeleton seemed to be able to use the same Sweet Voice as Benrey. Were the pair connected somehow? Related? Were the skeletons an offshoot of Benrey’s power or something? Or- or his _ghost_ for whenever he died?

None of it made sense, but Gordon couldn’t answer any questions until he met up with Benrey himself.

Tommy took the lead as per Gordon’s suggestion. As much as he respected Dr. Coomer, he seemed to land himself in quite a bit of trouble. Bubby on the other hand, had just betrayed Gordon so he was in no hurry to put him in charge either. Tommy was the obvious choice.

Tommy ran up ahead, scouting what awaited them. Gordon didn’t have the stamina to keep up so he followed from a bit of a distance. Dr. Coomer and Bubby were somehow even further behind- checking out something just out of sight. Gordon was about to call ahead to ask Tommy what he was seeing when he rounded the corner and stopped.

Tommy was frozen in place. In front of him was none other than Benrey, who was _smiling._ One that screamed ‘Hiding something’ but Gordon didn’t have the slightest idea what.

It sure looked like Benrey, nothing physically looked different, but the more Gordon looked at him… He couldn’t tell _what_ but something just felt very un-Benrey like about him.

“Haven’t seen you in a while.” Benrey said casually. His gaze flickered from Tommy to Gordon and down to Gordon’s missing limb. He clicked his tongue, a false sympathy forming in his eyes. “Oh, what a _shame._ How did that little _accident_ happen?”

Rage boiled to the surface in an instant. The only thing that stopped Gordon from making a running punch with his remaining hand was Tommy’s voice. 

“B-Benrey?” Tommy asked, dangerously uncertain. His hands wiggled like he was itching for something to tinker with to distract him from the sight in front of him. 

Benrey’s gaze snapped to him. For a beat, he stares like he was trying to remember who Tommy was, then a slow grin spread across his face. “The one and only. C’mon, who else could I _be?”_

Tommy glances back and sent Gordon a silent look. _‘I don’t know who that is but that’s not Benrey.’_

_‘I believe you but I don’t know what we can do right now.'_ Gordon shot back, mouthing the words subtly. He quickly masked any doubt from his face so ‘Benrey’ couldn’t see it. Instead, he narrowed his eyes and let the anger flow through him once more. It wouldn’t be difficult to get into character. 

“Where the fuck have you been? You- you know what? I don’t care.” Gordon pushed his way past ‘Benrey’ and didn’t give him a second glance. “We should get a move on. We need to get to the Lambda Labs so I can get a new hand from Cybernetics because _someone_ decided to fucking chop it off.” 

“You’re still on about that? For the last time-!” Bubby followed by Dr. Coomer finally rounded the corner. No doubt the pair had gotten destructively sidetracked but now, they both paused at the sight of ‘Benrey.’ Bubby crossed his arms, sending a glare. “You bitch, you let them put me back in my tube!”

“Oops.” ‘Benrey’ said. “My bad.”

Bubby’s bitterness vanished from under him. He blinked in surprise and squinted at Benrey. “You…” 

Dr. Coomer saw it too. Bright green eyes glanced over Benrey and frowned. “Gordon-!” He started to say, but Gordon was quick to cut him off. 

“We gotta get moving.” He sent a glare to ‘Benrey’ that he didn’t have to fake. “Follow us, I guess. You’ve been so _insistent_ on it up until now, might as well take you to my grave.”

Coomer and Bubby both fell silent and had a mental conversation with each other through looks. Gordon couldn’t tell exactly what they were saying but it didn’t look positive. Tommy stood close to Gordon, like he didn’t want ‘Benrey’ to get any closer and catch him alone. If ‘Benrey’ noticed how everyone was acting, he didn’t seem to care. He didn’t stop smiling, eyes half lidded like none of them. 

_“Mr. Freeman-”_

_“I know.”_ His voice was barely a whisper. _“We’ll figure this out, we just need to figure out what’s going on. Act natural for now. We don’t know Benrey’s current state.”_

Gordon cleared his throat and gestured with his good hand. “Let’s _go.”_ He said sharply, directing his edge towards ‘Benrey’ who doesn’t flinch. 

Tommy and Gordon lead the way. Gordon can’t stop watching their backs, he wouldn’t be surprised if ‘Benrey’ tries something. He’s determined not to be caught off guard this time. 

—

Shards of the mirror broke off into even small pieces as they hit the ground. Pulling his hand back, he glares at it. Logically, he should feel something but it barely registers he punched the mirror at all.

_“Damn it…”_ A hiss escapes him, arms shaking. _“They fucking- god fucking damn it.”_

With a swift kick, the shards scatter across the bathroom floor. A rush passes through him, causing him to eye all the other mirrors with malice intent.

One by one, each of them are broken. By the end of it, he stands in the wake of his own destruction and finally lets out a long breath. 

Benrey stares down at his reflection through the shards. A skeleton stares back.

_Not me._ His fists turn into balls and he kicks the shards again. _Give it back- you fucking took my body from me and I’m getting it back._

Benrey storms out of the bathroom. His new body might not be able to feel much physically but Benrey is filled to the brim with emotions and none of them are good.

There’s only one Benrey in this world and he is _pissed._

—

The man standing in front of him has his hands clasped together, is standing with perfect posture, and smiles in a way that _screams_ puppeteer in every sense of the word. At the same time, he also wears the face of his ex, yet everything about how he holds himself contradicts what he already knows about the man he spent a year sleeping next to.

“Hello…” He pauses for a moment to read the name printed on his uniform. Alarms go off in his head, a red alert that this is _not_ the same guy he dated. “Forzen, is it?”

Forzen doesn’t respond. He watches him carefully. 

“I’m Benrey.” _No, you’re not._ “I hear you and your fellow soldiers have quite the… Vendetta, against Gordon Freeman?” _You should already know that, you came to us first._

His heart stops and Forzen is once again reminded of the blank stare that Benrey had when he turned Freeman in. Forzen had tried to ask questions but Benrey gave halfhearted answers to all of them. 

That was bad enough. Now Benrey is acting like a completely different person. _Maybe he is a completely different person. Is this some sort of fucked up body swap?_

“Yeah, that’s right…” Forzen crossed his arms, putting up a barrier between him and ‘Benrey.’ He keeps his face neutral. “You got information?”

“I do. I gotta an _in_ with the man, and honestly, I think we can help each other.” 

“Oh?” Forzen forces interest into his voice even though talking to this walking abomination pretending to be his ex is sickening. 

“If I gave you an opportunity, could you take him out of the picture? I couldn’t care less how or what you do with him afterwards- just take him out.”

Forzen soaks that in for a moment. _He wants Freeman out of the picture? Even though the army already cut off his hand? Huh... That's more than just petty revenge._

_Freeman might finally matter to me for once._ Forzen thinks to himself.

Forzen nods slowly. ‘Benrey’ holds out his hand in a way that reminds Forzen a demon deal. Like he’s about to sell his soul over to whatever devil now wears Benrey’s face.

Of course Forzen grabs his hand. He’s not a coward. But he does keep his guard up as he creates a plan in his head.

‘Benrey’s smile widens. _Not his smile- I **know** his smile and that’s not it._ Forzen can’t stop his mind from hissing at everything ‘Benrey’ does. Everything about him is too jarring for him to stay calm. 

“They’re all sleeping now and will be for a few more hours.” He suggests none too subtly. 

“Consider it done.”

Forzen quickly works out a plan in his head. _This could work._ He tells himself. _As long as I don’t fuck it up._

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I s w e a r this will end well but for now, here's part one! I think Part Two is likely going to be longer since I have a lot of ideas of what I want to do with it and character interactions but we'll see! It'll at least be the same length. For now, notes!
> 
> \- This got... Darker than I previously intended but I have no intention of ending it that way. I'm gonna try to give the main crew (Plus Forzen and Darold too) their time to shine and wreck some shit
> 
> \- I think it was Wayne who mentioned a bunch of theories about Benrey + The Skeletons and one of them mentioned was, "The skeletons are controlling him" and I went, "oh?" and after thinking about the Sweet Voice having different purposes, this just. Kinda happened. Oh boy.
> 
> \- This happened partially accidentally but Benrey goes through both Denial and Anger in the five stages of grief in that order
> 
> \- Any opportunity I get to sprinkle in the fact that Benrey and Tommy care about each other I take because I care about them dearly. The same goes for Forzen and Benrey being Exes
> 
> \- This was gonna be a lot simpler plot but somewhere along the line, it got complicated, and I rewrote the ending like five times because none of them quite felt right until I got to the one I have now. Half of this story has been sitting in my docs for days because I needed a good direction for the ending and now I GOT it. Skeleton has like, motives that make sense now. They're still 100% a bitch though
> 
> \- Forzen is gonna be good in this I swear- also not totally satisfied with how the characterization of this but hopefully it'll be better by the second part
> 
> \- Darnold has not appeared yet but he WILL


End file.
